Starting Over

Comment

Comment by Rancher Mark on November 21, 2011 at 5:47pm

Hi Debbie, I will never endorse a re-lapse, however I will always welcome and admire a re-start. The key to all lessons is that we learn from them. With this learning comes choice to not repeat the same lesson.  From experience, I do know that lessons repeat until learned, as fact of life and particularly of recovery. The Beauty however is the continued understanding that comes with working a program....which is an AA way of really saying of working on ourselves, this is a journey inward and even though we may not always like what we find, with time we find what we like and we begin to be ok being human.

 

SO Deb, I do not know if I could make it back in if I went out. To be honest I think if I did come back it would not be until I had no other choice, until I was beaten...again...and so I do admire your ability to shake if off and save your life and to move forward, smarter for the effort.

Comment by Tricia H on November 18, 2011 at 12:05pm

One day at a time, you can do it Deb!! I believe in you.... Let the lesson be to talk about the urge to drink before you pick up. Reach out and tell someone....isn't it awesome to know you're not alone in this struggle. HUGS!

Comment by Jason Shulist on November 14, 2011 at 7:18pm

Deb,

 

You mentioned something in your response which I really needed to re-affirm for myself today.  "I have to live in the moment."  You are so right, thank you for that.  While talking this morning with one of my most important support members I made some notes of important concepts I needed to remind myself of.  Live in the now and yes, it is possible to reframe one's mind.  For the last couple of weeks my mind has been trapped in the past and contemplating the future with much fear, anxiety, shame and anger.  I was not living in the 'now'.  Not always an easy thing to do, certainly made more difficult when there are numerous heavy realities upon the horizon, but critical if one wishes to live the life one desires.

 

Further, I was happily reminded of the benefit of morning and evening meditation.  A practice I sadly have been neglecting this past little while.  I look forward to taking those brief, quiet moments to recognize that which I am truly grateful for and that which I have learned.  May you find those moments during your day which allow you to recognize that for which you are grateful and all that you continue to learn.  This thing called 'life' is nothing if not interesting ... irregardless of the bumps along the way.  I am reminded that it is not the destination but the journey that matters.

 

Know that my thoughts are with you and that I honour the person I have come to know. 

My warmest wishes! Jason    

 

 

Comment by Debra Richert on November 14, 2011 at 12:54pm

Got my new 24 hour chip.  I told my story at the Sunday night meeting.  The topic was guilt and shame....how appropriate.  But something wonderful happened after I shared.  The true caring, support and love of other alcoholics in AA shone through!!  Everyone who shared after that told about their relapses and reminded me that it's okay to slip.....but only if you get back up, brush yourself off and learn the lessons that were meant to be learned by the experience.  I got many hugs at the end and phone numbers offered.   AA and it's fellowship is something truly amazing.  And I can't tell you how grateful I was to be able to go to bed last night thanking God for another day of sobriety.  I've learned many things in the last 2 days.  One is that I have to live in the moment.  I have to stop looking for the future and using the chips as a goal.  That is unneccessary pressure.  Instead, I must live only 24 hours a day and when I make it to a chip, then that is only a recognition of my achievement, it is not a prize.  The 113 days don't matter, it is only each and every day that does.  It's about the quality of my sobriety, not the quantity.