I simply can't stand that!

"Just think how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!" George Carlin

Recently the topic of tolerance was a theme for discussion.  A topic which allows for a wide perspective of contemplation indeed.  How tolerant am I?  Can I be more tolerant?  With my sobriety have I become more tolerant of somethings and less of others?  Is it always necessary to practice tolerance?  

The inability to practice tolerance often seems predicated on a perceived need to judge.  This leads me to remember the axiom that if you spot it you got it.  Thus, when I recognize I am not being as tolerant as I might be I inevitably discover a judgemental reflex buried underneath.  Perhaps the answer is not to count to ten, breath slowly and try to be tolerant to whatever it was that seemed to be pushing my buttons but to uncover the potential errant judgemental behaviour and seek to challenge the underlying forces at work.  Is this person being unknowingly 'stupid' and is it I that is fearful of being perceived as 'stupid'?  Just what am I judging at this moment that perhaps I need to address, not this person?  Perhaps by working on myself there will be less and less need to try to be tolerant.

I don't necessarily have a problem with individuals being vocal about not being tolerant.  Surely there are times when we should not tolerate specific behaviour or action and there must be times when voicing our opinions about tolerance, or lack thereof, is just.  Just as I view anger as neither being a positive or a negative, a thing that just is yet it is our individual expressions and how we utilize anger that may be considered positive or negative, I think I come to view notions such as judgement, forgiveness and tolerance along the same lines.  Before recovery I quite often was extremely intolerant to specific things for absolutely no good reason ... and now in recovery I find I am less tolerant to specific things for what I might consider good justification (whether those are or not is an entirely different discussion!).  A very interesting inversion which I would like to contribute to some sort of growth.  

By far the most intolerant thing that was and is for myself is myself.  But I am working on this and slowly but surely I believe I shall make progress.  Learning to become more comfortable with who I am, feeling proud to greet the day exactly how/where I am and being able to admit my own shortcomings honestly will slowly erode my own self defeating critic and thus, lend itself to automatically judging less and be incredibly more tolerant.  This will add strength to my continued recovery as I open up yet more opportunity and bliss to living each day fruitfully, joyfully and completely.

Post Script .... Along the lines of tradition 3, which I do have a desire to stop, I would supplant that in addition I have a tremendous desire to live life in the now, a desire to partake in this experience called life fully aware and conscious, a desire to accept life on life's terms and an amazing desire to continually grant myself the gift of a clean, sober and fruitful reality.  

Warm regards to all,

Jason