All Blog Posts (108)

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap.... but by the seeds you plant"

Six months ago, I left the Ranch. For the third time. The first time I was out almost two weeks before I got loaded. The second... well... Wasa Lake beer store, ten minutes up the road. That was July 2007. The nightmare that was my life, continued until June 27, 2011. 45 days later, and some honest hard work, my new life in the "real" world began. I decided that I never wanted to feel, the way I felt those last 10 days of using. My life and 28years of "altering my perception" I like to call…

When I look in the mirror, who do I see,

Standing there staring back at me?

Is is someone I know who soars like a dove

Or someone I feel not even God could love?

"What can I change?" I cry to myself.

To make me love ME ... take ME off the shelf.

The answer comes simply and so amazingly true,

It's turning my life over completely to You.

Lord help me to love myself as I am,

The person to whom was given The Lamb.

Help me to…

so its been two and a half months since i've left and im doing great! i'm finding myself in new challenges that are healthy and also figuring what best for me... My mind has been all over the place yet i proceed with my routine.. also claiming my life is boring but when i sat back to really look at my life i have many opportunities that i need to decide on but also take my time on... there are days i want it all and days where i remind myself to take it one day at a time...

UP and…

"Just think how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!" George Carlin

Recently the topic of tolerance was a theme for discussion.  A topic which allows for a wide perspective of contemplation indeed.  How tolerant am I?  Can I be more tolerant?  With my sobriety have I become more tolerant of somethings and less of others?  Is it always necessary to practice tolerance?  

The inability to practice tolerance often…

So I made it home from Calgary and everything was going good.  But I made the same mistakes as last time, no meetings, and didnt call anyone when I needed to.  I used, my girl found out, and now she cant live with me anymore.  So Im in Calgary now, trying to straighten myself out, I cant make it in Vancouver, which Ive proven time and time again, so maybe I can make it here.  I really blew it this time, I had my oppurtunity to make good on all the shit Ive done in my past. I may very well…

 Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what's inside.

Rule Two - You will be presented with…

The opportunity to regularly partake in self reflection with a trusted guide during this journey is an integral part of my recovery, and one activity which I truly enjoy.  Those little 'eureka' moments are little gifts which help uplift my spirit, remove the shroud of mystery behind many actions, thoughts, feelings and behaviours and assist my self in maintaining a focussed and orientated path.  Recently while covering much ground with my personal and beloved guide a very interesting…

This is the most amazing therapy I have ever had!!!  I’m having another treatment next week and I can’t wait!

Introduction to Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy

by Michael Kern,

DO., R.C.S.T., M.I.Cr.A., N.D.

Life and motion

Life expresses itself as motion. At a deep level of our physiological functioning all healthy, living…

I was having a conversation with a very close and dear support individual, of which I am so incredibly grateful to have within my life, when we touched upon a subject that neither of us were even contemplating moments earlier.  I always find it funny how sometimes the topic of our discussion evolves to just exactly where it needs to be.  Somehow, without either of us knowing, the direction and relevance of our talk seems to locate and zero in on that area which necessarily requires…

So i started to look for a place yesterday and didn't realize how expensive its going to be! so my mind started to over think and put stress on me because i was thinking i couldn't afford it! And being broke at the time was starting to really affect my positive views...

As i was looking on the internet my mother walked into my office and pointed something out and i also broke down my living expenses and geeeezzz does that mind ever like to bring you down until you prove it wrong! so…

Now that my family knows I've been to treatment, they are asking me lots of questions and seeking help.. One wants to give good advice to her neighbor that is heading out to treatment.. the most i told her to say was "that she could be her support and reassure her that she's doing the right thing to only listen to her heart and not her mind".. Another just admitted he has a problem and wants to stop I told him "it's great that you are reaching out for help and thats the first part to…

Was sending off morning emails when a thought hit me.  I have never used skype before but can not imagine it is that difficult and thought I would simply toss out an idea which struck me.  A regular, monthly perhaps, skype ( or whatever works ) conference video for those that may be interested.  I was discussing my desire to attend more Ranch meetings and the roadblocks often erected in that pursuit and then it dawned on me.  If it is difficult to physically go to those Ranch meetings, why…

Hello All,

This was my first weekend home and it's been very tough alot of heart ache because everything is hitting me alot quicker then I expected. I guess that's why they expect the unexpected.. I've already seen some friends and started setting bounderies with them, so that is very good and the even better part is recognizing the bounderies for myself!

I can't express enough gratitude towards this whole recovery because i'm seeing this life in a whole new way and even though…

I find it extremely valuable to purposefully remember the little things.  But just as important is to 'do' the little things. 

Standing before my Mount Improbable ( for those that recall the class, I am picturing my Recovery Mountain analogy ) and seeing the sheer vertical imposing rock face illicits the feelings that the effort required for this journey is beyond daunting and overwhelming, it is beyond my ability.  The secert is to not attempt the radical single leap…

Back to Step One........powerless over alcohol....

My worst fear happened last night....the obsession of the mind.  I slipped.  At least that's what I'm calling it for now.  Not a relapse because it is done, hopefully to never happen again.  I left a meeting with an obsession that I could not control.  I don't know where it came from.  It was like as if I was someone else.  Everything I had learned, I had forgotten.  Maybe I just needed a reminder that drinking is no longer "fun".  I…

Having been well over a week now I reflect on how I have been feeling and what has all transpired.  

To start with the positives .... not one thought of using, no cravings and have not found myself in any situation or with anyone which forced me to implement any recovery strategies such as physical departure.  All very, very positive.  The inner dialogue between my rational self and the addict within has not been taken place.  My thoughts concerning this either that cunning…

I had a great conversation tonight... that made me think of this poem....

A New Beginning

 

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.



For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had…

• Humility is a great strength!
• Being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or evenn self-abasing
• Quiet Confidence
• Knowing your own weaknesses and accepting them
• Knowing your value and strengths
• Being honest
• Chasing illusions away and realizing how much you do not know.

The Seventh Step of Recovery

“We humbly…